Thinking, thinking, thinking

I've had some time this weekend to think about my life and how far I've come in the last 12 months. I can't believe it's only 6 weeks til Christmas and I've been thinking about where I was physically and mentally last Christmas.

Tipping the scales at nearly 100kg meant that I didn't "do" much. I was very lazy, tried to move as little as possible. I needed help doing the housework cos I would get so tired after just sweeping the kitchen floor. It must have been hard for my body to cope and of course I had a young baby so I wasn't getting much sleep and I felt very tired all the time.

Here's the vicious circle: feeling tired makes us lazy, being lazy makes us eat convenient pre-packaged foods cos we couldn't be bothered cooking, eating these foods makes us tired and therefore the circle continues.

I now know, after 12 months of getting my head around weight loss, healthy eating and exercise - that you have to prioritise your life so that when you are a little tired, and let's face it anyone who has one child or two or three or however many, works full time and tries to keep their house clean does get tired, you have a plan of attack to counteract your brain telling you that you really need Maccas or KFC because the last thing you want to do after a long week at work and being up every night that week with the baby is cook a meal.

So, I've decided that I need to save up and buy myself a freezer. That way I could have healthy - heat-upable options in the freezer for those nights when you just don't feel like lifting the phone to dial-a-meal, never mind chopping vegies or cooking whatever you "should" be having.

I've also come to realise that the more I exercise (cos I haven't for two days now) the better I feel and the more awake I feel. I really think exercise is the key for me. My truly bad takeaway eating habits really went out the door at the beginning of this year and yes, of course, we occasionally have take away - but it's a rare thing these days, not the norm that it was 12 months ago. Therefore, I feel that I have to make exercise a priority in my life right now and that I need to get super organised so that my time after coming home from work is more quality than quantity. I think I have my eating habits fairly well sorted out now, except that I need to plan in advance.

Also, I need to spend quality time with DS because during the week I haven't seen him all day, I don't really want to be standing at the stove for an hour cooking or chopping or peeling or whatever and I also need to get to bed earlier so that I can get up early and do my walking.

So, the plan for this week is that after weigh in tomorrow night at WW I will go to the supermarket and buy a week's worth of groceries. At the moment I don't plan any meals and DH is going to the shops on the way home from work every second night. This is a pain in the butt for him but also leaves us open to the tired monsters who say - "I don't care what you bring home for dinner, just make sure it doesn't take long to cook - oh and don't forget milk and bread".

I think I'll have a look in my WW mags and find a week's worth of recipes that sound nice and follow that, so I'll need to write a shopping list tonight so that I'm organised and then of course I just need to stick to it.

I really have come a long way since this time last year. I make healthier choices. I don't always finish what's on my plate just because it's there (example at the wedding - the meals were quite small and I ate all of my entree - caeser salad, most of my main - sirloin with steamed vegies and mashed potato - but only a mouthful of my dessert, I wasn't hungry and I didn't need it. There were even spare desserts going around and in the old days I would have scooped them all up and eaten the lot, but not now).

I'm quite proud of myself for this achievement. It really does show how far I've come on this journey. I know I've got a long way to go, but now that I've thought about all of this and had some realisations, I'm not so worried about it. I know I'll get there eventually, no matter how long it takes, because I've changed my life for the better, and for ever.

My good friend Michelle became a 60's girl last week and I'm so very pleased for her. She has worked her absolute butt off (literally!!) for this and she deserves it just about more than anyone I know. After she told me, I was thinking about it and thinking that I would never get to the 60's, it feels so far away, but when I thought about it some more, I realised that when I started this journey I didn't think I'd ever make it under 90 kilos, never mind under 80, but now I know that I'm going to get to goal, I know that very soon I'll be under 75kg and even better that in only a couple of months' time I'll be where Michelle is now - in the 60's! Yes it is very hard work, yes it is tiring, yes I feel like giving up a lot of times, but I don't - I may fall off the wagon for one meal, or one day, or one week, but I always get back on, and I always will.

I love having this insight into a better, healthier and more productive me - and I deserve to treat my body well, after all I've got a long way to go in this life and a lot of things left to conquer so I'll need my body for at least another 30 years, so I better be nice to it and treat it with the respect and dignity it deserves!!

Bri